Why I made a new Multiply site

It all started with a story that I told my mom about a woman who found out through Facebook that her husband wanted a divorce. Since she doesn't have Facebook, I had to preface the story with an explanation of how Facebook alerts you over the slightest changes in someone's account. She tsked-tsked over the story and said, "That's why I don't like all those sites, like Livejournal and Facebook and Multiply. People end up knowing about things they're not supposed to know about."

I thought that was the end of it, but she continued to tell me about something I had written in my Multiply site two years ago. It was one of my random musings about money, and I guess I must have said something about the way some parents obligate their children to contribute to the household so much, they're unable to start saving up for their own future. I've been lucky enough that my parents don't ask me to contribute to household expenses, and that they would probably rather I save up for myself and my own expenses. I know that others my age are not as lucky. But that's not the point. The point is, apparently, an uncle of mine read it, and all this time assumed that I was talking about my own household, griping about my own parents. It really ticked me off how he could assume things about my life because, frankly, it's none of his business. I also discovered that he really does check my site whenever I upload something new, and it bugs me that he seems so interested in my life. (It doesn't help that I've had my gripes about this uncle on separate occassions.)

Realizing that I didn't want this uncle, his wife and their kids (even if they keep separate Multiply accounts, they do still live in the same house) to have access to my personal life, I decided to log on to my Multiply account and try to find a way to filter my contacts. There must be a way to edit him out without deleting him/them because that would be too obvious-- what happens in the next family reunion and he says, "Oh, why am I not seeing you on Multiply anymore?" What am I supposed to say then?

I discovered that Multiply is not filter-friendly. While it recognizes that relationships vary in degree (it does allow you to classify your relationship with someone as a neighbor, classmate, or sorority sister), when it comes to allowing access to your friends, it only lumps those subtle distinctions into the general Friends category. Which means that if I decide to filter an album and make it unavailable to Family (including that uncle), it means that my cousins and sister cannot see it either. Yes, I could select particular individuals that will have access to that album, but I find it too tedious to run through my entire Multiply list. Aside from that uncle, I realized that there are so many people on my list who were just my classmates in one subject, high school classmates I wasn't really close to, and old friends I haven't heard from in a very, very long time. And when these people post things, I don't open their albums anyway because, quite honestly, I'm really not that interested in what they're up to.

That's when I realized that I really should've taken Multiply seriously when they said "This is a site for meaningful relationships." So I decided to open a new site and invite only the people that I really want to let into my life. Letting the whole world know about what's going on in your life really does not appeal to me, and that's the downside to these online networking sites. I like Facebook, I like Multiply, I like Plurk, and I like Blogger (if I didn't, this blog wouldn't be alive), but there is always a risk of oversharing in these sites. What I've learned as I've gotten older is that you must straddle a line between putting your thoughts out there and putting every single thought (including how you can still taste your lunch every time you burp and now you need to go pee-pee) out there. Share, but don't overshare, and learn to share with the right people.

I'm still keeping the old one though, but now it has a new purpose. After all, I'm still uploading links to my press releases as they appear on the Philippine Entertainment Portal (PEP.ph) and I sometimes still make blog entries that are work-related. Besides, that site has all my contacts for online shopping as well, so I can somehow look at it as a "professional" site, as opposed to my new "personal" site.

Now I must begin the slow and steady effort of building my new site.