Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Exercise Dilemma

I have never had a good relationship with exercise and any form of physical activity.

As a child, I was never allowed to really run around with other kids, and my games were more of the creative, indoors type. I always dreaded Physical Education classes-- I was no good at sports, and had two left feet that didn't do me any good at those different folk dances. Not only that, I hated having people watch you look awkward, get sweaty, and basically make a fool of yourself for an hour thrice a week.

Almost two decades later, I find that I haven't outgrown this. I don't want to go to the gym because it bores me. I don't want to workout in my room because I'm deathly afraid of doing things wrong and injuring myself. I don't want to join any classes because they remind me of PE classes all over again, yet when I attempt to do something solitary like walking, I still feel like people are watching and whispering about every move I make.

And while my head knows that exercise (or any form of physical activity, for that matter) is important, my body somehow doesn't want to follow. It has helped somewhat to be handling Women's Health Philippines for work, as the magazine really espouses that women should find a form of activity that they enjoy doing so that they will always be motivated to exercise. But I realize that there just isn't any physical activity I enjoy doing.

One of these days, I will have to wrap my head around the idea that there are just some things that you have to do, even if every fiber of your being is screaming "NO!!!" :(